Saturday 24 December 2011

Mozzies or Marchies?

We packed the truck up and loaded the quads on and were ready to re-explore Mapoon and the surrounding beaches and swamps.  The other car loads of friends rocked up to our place so we could convoy together through the mud and try to navigate our way around the potholes.  It's about an hours drive from here and the landscape looks like tropical palm trees, highlighter green grasses and backs onto the water's edge. Truely a beautiful place.

We drove up onto the point and I jumped out.  Dot was anxious to get out and was bouncing around in her dog crate so I let her out too and she proceeded to pig root with excitement and run her fastest around all the cars, bowling over anyone in her path.  I slapped a black mozzie from my arm and thought about getting out the can of aeroguard before we started to unpack.  The kids got out with me and then the boys decided they'd check out the area to find the 'perfect' camp spot.  I slapped a few more mozzies and walked behind the car wondering where he wanted to go as the tide was bloody high and we're already in croc country - no need to serve ourselves up too easily... 

I noticed the kids were starting to slap themselves and fight the imaginary foul.  They were big mozzies, I'll give you that!  The boys disappeared around the bend with the spray and we had no other option but to run through the sand towards the car with flailing arms in a bid to ward off the little vampires.  We got around the bend and got a glimpse of the boys having gone way beyond flailing arms and were slapping themselves frantically as the swarm of billions of mozzies pulled their ambush to swallow us all.  The flying disease were thick and thirsty.  On the verge of panic and ready to sacrifice the children in a bid for itching relief, we clambered back in and floored it until we got the hell outta there.  Flooring it behind us in the rear vision mirror was our giant bounding live-bait, with wild eyes as if to say, you bastards have left me again.  We did paper-scissors rock for who was going to get out and let her in her cage.  Hubby lost - it's 'his' dog now...

So where were we going to go then? None of us wanted to go home.   The creeks weren't full enough yet and we'd already been travelling an hour, so it was back to Penne we went.

Over the sand dunes we got the first glimpse of the rolling blue ocean and the smell of salt water and rained-on dirt was sensational.  We tossed up whether to chance going to the hut and getting kicked out when someone else was booked or just biting the bullet and throwing up the tarp.  We went the tarp option - nobody wanted to set up for the third time today.  The tarp is huge and can fit our cars underneath so we just had to roll out the swags on the back tray. Too easy.  The tarp went up, the chairs went out and within 10mins we were set up.  A green march fly bit my leg leaving a welt and I took pleasure in slapping him relentlessly off my leg and then again while he was in the sand.  Experience has taught me that marchies don't kill easily and he was not getting a second chance on drinking me.   We cracked some beers and I put a lamb in the camp oven for lunch.  It was as if I'd sent up a flare for all black and green marchies to call their mates as Christmas dinner was about to be served.  They came in a multitude of colours and stings....

Aeroguard boasts that it lasts up to 6hrs.  I think I should write to them and send a photo of my elephantitis swollen legs, face, neck and every other soft spot I have.  One layer  of aeroguard lasts approx 11mins and 20seconds before you need to reapply.  

The other solution is this...  Open a coke zero can, spash out the top 2cm as you slap the side of your face and swear at the flying beast that has bitten you...again... then top it up with bicardi until it's clear and filling the top of your can.  Drink the first gulp really fast, squinch through the unpleasant burning sensation, gulp again.  Reapply aeroguard with a nice layer of sunscreen over the top. The blowing sand in the wind will help it all stick together. Swig the last half of your can then repeat the whole cycle from the top.

Neither mozzies nor marchies can resist this concoction and you'll be safe.

As for children, the same applies but instead of bicardi let them ride your quads fast enough that they don't get bitten or care if they do......

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